Quick story time, I promise it’ll be quick. Wanna know a secret? I actually wrote this very blog post years ago when I first started smileylymie.com, I actually think it was my very first post! The reason I am posting this here at my new “hub” is because it’s still very relevant and never loses it’s validity. The only difference now, my perspective has changed even more as I have grown so much in only a few years. This is more so the updated version of the same ideas. The same ideals which have helped me cope with the emotional/mental aspect of life with a chronic illness. Trust me, I was in a dark dark place and a part of me believed my body was the enemy trying to destroy me, when in essence it wasn’t. It was reacting, confused, suffering and crying out for my help and attention. It was through pain and growth that I actually learned to bond and connect deeply with my mind and body.
Do you ever feel so tired and completely useless, that you believe you’ll never be that same person you were once before? You’ll never be able to contribute to society or have happy, healthy relationships? You feel as if your illness will be the one thing which will turn you into a lonely, depressed, angry human being, who lays in bed all day, with nothing to do but dream of all you could accomplish in your life? Well, I’m here to tell you that, believe it or not, it doesn’t have to be this way, with a positive attitude. If there is one thing I have learned, having chronic Lyme Disease for the majority of my young life, it’s that a chronic illness can shape you into becoming the person you were meant to be; a person who can understand concepts others cannot, an opportunity to help others through the wisdom and knowledge you’ve acquired. It made me feel better to seek out any positivity within the darkness, I mean why not? The key to unlocking all of the positive aspects of having a chronic illness, is found through acceptance. Since you cannot change your situation, you somewhat surrender, and are forced to move forward, blindly. There comes a time when you just have to let go, and accept what is. People accept their circumstances in different ways though, some people choose to laugh, some cry and some become simply infuriated. Let’s be honest though, it’s A LOT to juggle, and I’m sorry because I understand what you’re going through. Here’s a big virtual bear hug! Emotions are one thing, but your attitude is a choice. When you get to that “ah ha” moment where you’ve learned how to disconnect your emotions affecting your attitude and overall outlook on life, you’re already ahead! It’s not easy, trust me. But life is FULL of downfalls, tragedies and disappointments so we might as well live our best life up in our heads. It’s so important to process your emotions, and try to have a positive outlook on life, despite your circumstances. Even though this can be a difficult process, and may be hard to explain, I’d like to walk you through 5 ways in which you can develop a healthy, positive attitude or maybe have something to ponder over, when dealing with a chronic illness:
1.You Stop Taking The Little Things For Granted
When you become so ill that simply walking to your bed, or washing your face becomes an effort, you probably aren’t that interested in the latest gossip or how great your hair looks that day, huh? When you get to this point, you learn to appreciate the simple things, like taking a shower, or getting the mail, even having enough energy to make it through the first chapter of a new book. 22These accomplishments become little victories! Every time you accomplish something, you should congratulate yourself, as only you know how major this accomplishment was. When I view the way others take the little things for granted, it makes me feel lucky that I can appreciate something as simple as a tree full of bright yellow flowers. I feel as if it does not take as much for me to feel happy and grateful, where it can take a lot more for others. When you start appreciating the little things, life seems to offer a lot more. You realize that you don’t need much to be happy, it’s about appreciating the little things. I feel so much more capable and my gratitude actually seemed to skyrocket believe it or not!
2. You Learn Where You “Really Stand” With People
I can tell you that having a chronic illness, can expose the truth about people. It’s really difficult when people tell you, “it’s all in your head, your just hungry for attention” or “you look fine, so therefore you must be over exaggerating.” Sometimes even family will turn on you, at the worst time. Trust me I know this feeling of complete judgement rooted in ignorance. Oftentimes this judgement is rooted in one’s need to justify their own hatred for whatever reason. There are different reasons as to why people do this. I’ve noticed that when people are scared and feel as if there’s nothing they can do to help you, they panic and convince themselves that everything is fine. Some people really don’t care, and don’t want to deal with someone who is physically weak. No matter what the reason though, this is actually a huge gift, despite how painful the truth of the outcome may be. You ultimately discover who would really be there till the end; who would stay by your side and support you when you need it most. You honestly stop wasting time in life with the people who don’t give a shit. People revealed their true colors to me, once they learned that I too, needed someone to lean on. I was no longer the “rock” for everyone else all the time and have self-respect. I’m not a living doormat. As stressful and hurtful as this was, it was actually a blessing. Thankfully, I have been able to find the people who trust my integrity, accept my journey and truly care for my well-being. I actually thank Lyme for this, enlightening my perspective and helping me see the importance in relationships greater than I ever had before.
3. You Start “Listening To Your Body”
Before I contracted Lyme, or even knew I had it, my body was being somewhat deprived of all the proper nutrients. Not to say that I had an “awful diet”, I just was not paying much attention to the importance of nutrition, rest and self-respect, self-care or even anything really health related. Lyme forced me to pay attention, and once I did, I started to see huge improvements! I also started to see how much I was truly neglecting myself subconsciously. Lyme was a huge WAKEUP CALL. I learned how to feed my body properly, excluding all toxins to the best of my ability, and staying away from gluten-filled foods and sugars for basic starters. I also learned that the body needs REST, no matter what! I started to develop more self-respect once I started treating my body properly, and my body thanked me. I feel that without this illness, I might have gone the rest of my life, deprived of this knowledge, which has shaped me into who I am, changed my path in life and opened up a whole new world. It will forever shape my future perspectives and choices. I wish the same for you!
4. You Discover Who You Are
Okay, okay, I’m not trying to sound corny. But seriously, on the days which you feel completely obliterated, you forget how strong you really are, what you are capable of and the impact you CAN have on this world, even when you feel like you can’t. I used to feel weak and wimpy, by simply comparing my situation to others who were able to be active and seem to “achieve” more superficial accomplishments in their lives. I was falling into a downward spiral, and feeling sorry for myself. It took a while for me to realize, that I could actually handle more than the people I compared myself to! I was able to fight through my everyday pain and weakness, and even manage to smile. I realized how much I could accomplish, if I were actually feeling well! This gave me more hope to continue fighting for that kind of future. A future where I could use my full potential, my suffering, and my knowledge to help others! Despite the true physical difficulties of a chronic illness, always remind yourself that you made it through another day, you CAN fight through this and when you do, you will blossom even if it doesn’t seem strikingly apparent. Each bad day leads to a better one, the waiting is the tedious, painstaking part. We all have our own coping mechanisms and things we resort to. God is a huge factor for me. Just know that you may have to fight more than one battle, to win the ultimate war.
5. Your Life Path Becomes Clearer
Yes, it may be difficult to grasp this concept, but it can be true. Everything which happens in life happens for a reason, good or bad. There is not one person on this Earth who has the same path as you do. Your journey is unique, but this can also be your superpower. Although, people living with a chronic illness can relate to others in this same situation in most ways, because we all understand the twists and turns of this path. We develop a different perspective and understanding, which others may never understand. I’ve met and witnessed so many young babies and children with cancer or debilitating chronic illnesses, and they are truly wise beyond their years. Not necessarily for good reasons, but I saw so much life and suffering in their soul-filled eyes. They knew, they knew sides to life many people go their whole life without understanding. Although I cannot stand to witness children suffering in this way, this part of life is not easy to understand or comprehend. Yet his knowledge allows those who suffer to relate to those who are also suffering, and this can be a gift. By understanding what others need and feel, we can be there for them in the best way! You may come to the conclusion, as I did, that for some reason, you were meant to live with this illness. Trust this, because there can be ways you can turn your illness into something positive, no matter how small it may seem, you just have to keep an open-mind.
When you acknowledge and accept these potential gifts, you may understand your path a bit more and this may give you hope. With hope, comes happiness. I encourage anyone who reads this, whether you have an illness or not, to remember that your uniqueness is your magic, your eternal superpower. Even though at times, it may feel impossible to wake up and feel determined, hopeful and cheerful, remind yourself that you are still alive for a reason, you are strong, you are beautiful and remember to breathe. The “path” doesn’t have to be “lived” in a certain way at a certain time. Be gentle with yourself while understanding and acknowledging the strength you were born with, as you grow through this unfair life. By believing you can, you are halfway there. With love, here’s to the journey.
