By definition, self-care is “the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health, or in essence, “the practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness.” In particular during periods of stress, Self-Care means something different to everyone because we all find solace, peace, comfort and pure relaxation through different outlets. Self-Care IS NOT SELFISH. Self-care is not just about “pampering” yourself, it’s about taking the time to CONNECT with your mind and body, and truly giving yourself permission to “slow down”. I understand that during this period of time in our world, everything has come to a sudden halt for the safety and well-being of each other, to protect and reach goals. I do hear a lot of people complaining about being trapped at home. Find gratitude that you have a home, and perhaps use this time to practice self-care. This post was originally on a previous blog of mine, and it was a hit! So I figured I would revise it accordingly, as my perceptions have changed and I have since grown mentally.
I find it a bit humorous that I am here giving you advice, as I was once what others may refer to as a “human doormat”, living for others. One moment in time, I reached a breaking point, and I came to terms with who I am as a person, and what I deserve. I realized I wouldn’t be able to help others if I did not take care of myself anyways. I mean DUH. I take self-care so seriously now, that even if I have 10 minutes a day, I’ll take it and make the most of it. Self-care has become a part of my daily life, it has helped me reconnect with myself, and get through the stresses of life with a healthy mindset. So today, I’d like to share my 10 methods of self-care with you, and hope you join me on the self-care train! Please head over to the end of this blog post or fast forward to listen to my related podcast episode, “The Self Care Prescription”.
You cannot have both, people say it’s either one or the other. No, in fact, it’s not, and while isolation may be more effective to me, socialization is the perfect form of care and happiness to others. While I am a more private person who finds peace in quiet and calm, I am also a “social butterfly”, and so I find peace in both areas. But please here me out,
Isolating myself, meditating, listening to some of my favorite jams, dancing with myself and even taking a 30 minute bath (I’m a bathing freak, don’t judge) I personally relax the most and have the most amount of “quiet and calm” in order to connect with myself. To others, socialization is the ultimate form of happiness and the best way to take your mind off your troubles, through laughing, just talking or even enjoying a particular activity with others. However, I must warn you, both forms can be ADDICTIVE, so please don’t let it interfere in your daily life. As times have changed we have had to learn how to adapt to limited socialization, and different forms of virtual socialization. It’s mentally difficult, BUT CRITICALLY NECESSARY so we even have the chance of returning back to normal, post-covid. Please do your part. Social Distance, Wear a Mask like it’s a seatbelt, and BE SAFE. This is not my personal view, but fact that we need to take measures to protect each other. Thank you to my fellow humans!
Yes, we all know “rest is important”, but do we feel it? Sometimes, knowing you will set aside time to go and lay-down, can actually be exciting (especially if you’ve had a particularly difficult/long day!). Even if you don’t sleep/nap, just resting whether sitting or lying down, you can put on some relaxing music and calm yourself down mentally and physically. I know it’s difficult because we can’t always plan to rest, but if the ball is in your court for a moment, take advantage. You will not realize how “tense” you are until you do this. How much you truly carry on your shoulders each day. Aside from resting during the daytime, making sure you get enough sleep at night is also another form of self-care. Your body NEEDS adequate amounts of rest, and your body will thank you. Just in order for muscles to repair, metabolism to reset and the mind to clear (which affects hormone balance etc.) you need basic adequate sleep. Your mind may be at more ease, and ultimately you will feel calmer, more focused and more energetic. It’s the little things that make a world of difference….
Alright, some of you may not practice yoga, but I can assure you that this can make a WORLD of difference. Still not convinced? Try exercising then! The release of endorphins through exercise can also trigger positive emotions, feelings and reduce pain receptors similar to the effects of morphine! Either way, moving, connecting and caring for your body are excellent ways to ease the mind and create empowerment physically and mentally. I enjoy yoga and strength training in particular, because it’s a more efficient way to truly connect with the mind and body, understanding where you are weak. Taking time for body care, whether it be massages, hair or skin care, detoxification methods through the body, or diet you are essentially making steps to live a more wholesome life where YOU matter.
Yes, and while this may sound a bit “dorky” to some, it is a wonderful way to not only feel good about yourself, but connect with your mind and understand the way you view the future (which can tell you a lot about yourself). Setting goals for your future next week or years from now can create excitement and hope within you, knowing that you have a new goal to meet. This is where planning comes in! Taking 10-30 minutes out each day (even if you have to jot-down notes in bed at night), can really take your mind off stress. Even if it’s sporadic when time allows, think about what you want to do, and how. The beauty is, you can plan for anything, and here is the trick…..Plan for yourself!. When I say this, I mean plan something for YOU, something you can look forward to, something which you know you’ll enjoy, or something which you’ve needed for a while/deserve. This is the ULTIMATE form of self-care in my book! Not to mention, when passion is involved in anything, it stops becoming work, it becomes joy.
Ok, I might have lost some of you now, but before you leave, please do yourself a favor and listen (because this is where it gets good!)
Affirmation (by definition) means “emotional support or encouragement”. Repeating out loud, terms of encouragement such as , “You can handle anything which will come your way; you are strong, worthy and beautiful”, or “The longest relationship I have in life is with myself”. My point is, by creating your own positive affirmations or even looking them up, you’ll realize how good you’ll feel afterwards! So what are you waiting for? Give yourself some mental love!
Now you may be thinking all sorts of stuff when I say “self-love”. What do I mean though? I mean SELF-LOVE. This could be taking time to know you matter, masturbation, being with your loved ones or discovering your body and what gives you pleasure. Not to exclude the guys here, but if you’re a gal, go head over to “Smile Makers” by clicking the link below, trust me you’ll thank me. It’s a judgement-free, enlightening zone. https://smilemakerscollection.com/
Sex also has the same type affect as exercise in the sense that endorphins and pleasurable hormones and emotions are released by heaps. The act of connecting intimately and passionately on a deep level with your partner, loved one, or spouse is the ultimate form of self-care both mentally and physically. I’m sure I don’t have to convince you on that one…
I am a writing junkie, not just because I am a blogger, but because it’s simply a passion of mine, a way for me to express myself, it’s therapeutic when no one is there to listen, and it’s downright peaceful. I’ve always said that the pen and paper have more patience than people. “The Smiling Skeleton” was born as an outlet to create and share my mental excerpts with the world, as well as create a platform to build before I self-publish. Sometimes just jotting down the way you are feeling, your current outlook on life, your frustration, things which have happened to you in the past, or just something positive which you stand proud of can be quite impactful, and leave you calm enough to sleep peacefully at night. Many times we don’t realize how much burden, pain or sorrow we may be carrying mentally until we express ourselves and relieve ourselves of this unnecessary pressure. So grab a pen, or a book, and get started! Or hell, just write in your notes app in your phone or on a napkin!
Eating healthy is in fact, a form of self-respect. By fueling your body up with healthy nutrition and pure foods, you are on the right track to a happy life both mentally and physically. I cannot stress this enough, and it’s possible that this method is so simple yet so complex, I’ll just have to leave you with this simple “affirmation, “Eating healthy and clean is a form of self-respect”. My entire life changed once I begun (even though I’ve been drinking green smoothies since I was 4!) and I know yours will too…
You’re probably thinking I’ve gone mad. But yes, I LOVE to clean and organize my surroundings, and therefore my life. This is not just because it makes my environment clean, fresh and livable, but it is healthier for the mind to live in a clean space, where you feel you can organize your life more efficiently, therefore making it easier to move forward and accomplish your goals. It can also give you a healthy sense of control, obviously without going overboard, and trust me, I SUCK at domestic shit. You’ll be proud of yourself, no matter how you do the job, trust me…
One of the most peaceful ways to be at ease, is to connect with nature. No, this does not necessarily mean climbing a tree and getting eaten alive in the forest! (please, if you do so, watch out for ticks!). Even if you walk down the street, notice some beautiful trees, flowers, birds and your overall surroundings of life, appreciate it & find peace in simplicity. The surroundings that were created for us, to give us peace in the midst of hell and chaos. I grew up predominantly in urban/suburban environments in Southern California near Los Angeles. I also traveled a lot as a child and urban living was stuck in my head. My mother grew up in New Jersey, but spent most of her young life in NYC frolicking within the NYC scene. I moved to Florida near Palm Beach in a small town called Jensen Beach for about 7 years, and then moved to Scottsdale, Arizona (where I currently reside). Basically neither I or my mother who raised me knew the real importance of nature until we had moved to places where we were forced to breathe in it. Growing up, we had taken little childhood trips to Lake Tahoe and Big Bear and I remember the moment of awe and peace I felt laying in the snow, breathing cleaner air and avoiding hustle. I now take walks and hikes in the nearby mountain trails and lakes because I crave the silence.
This is most likely the most important method of all… Do not let anything interfere with your ability to care for yourself. If you read my latest Instagram post, you’ll know that I encourage you to simply
Take Care Of Yourself.
No Explanations.
No Excuses.
No Apologies.
Be gentle, and forgive yourself. We are human, we make mistakes, and sometimes it’s difficult to control the mind. Be conscious, kind and mindful with yourself, and I promise you, you will succeed. You’ll become so connected and loving with yourself, and that means, a happy life. Remove anything or anyone that purposefully causes harm or invokes toxicity in your life. It’s an unhealthy cycle otherwise. You cannot expect to ever heal if you keep drinking the same poison which made you sick in the beginning…
-Eat Healthy -Find a spiritual connection or community
-Exercise -Be open to inspiration
-Get a Massage -Be open to “not knowing”
-Get Medical Care -Meditate
-Take Time To Be Sexual -Pray
-Get Enough Sleep
-Take a Vacation/Holiday
Psychological Self-Care Relationship care
-Take time to reflect -Stay in contact with important people in your life
-Write in a journal -Seek out comforting activities with these people
-Get personal therapy -Allow these people into your life to really know you
-Decrease life stress -Be curious -Try new things
Remove yourself from people who bring negativity into your life, be easy and gentle with yourself, and look forward to making the most out of your life (after all, it’s YOUR LIFE), you only get one on this earth at least. Wherever you are, whatever you choose, the goal is to feel calm, mentally energized and empowered, and purely content with yourself, ready to take on the rest of the day with a positive outlook so that you can help others as you help yourself. Stand as a positive example if anything…
